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I went down to Russia
To buy myself a wife
I named her Joanna
And she stabbed me with a knife
I said "Ow Joanna! Why?
Oh, why would you hurt me?
I rescued you from that country
From squalor and poverty"

And she said "oh, oh, oh, you're a bastard"
It's like 'sex slavery' is a term you never heard
And I don't respect your life at all

I went into the bathroom
To find me some gauze
I heard her comin' for me
I never gave her no cause
To act so violently
To scream and yell at me
I gave her all she wanted
She wanted charity

And she yelled "oh, oh, oh, you're a scoundrel
You prey on the unfortunate, and you pick apart their shell
And I don't respect your life at all"

It's been at least a week
Since I first entered here
The room with the toilet
And the doorknob I won't get near
I guess this is where I die
Alone and afraid
Dismembered by my wife
And I never once got laid

She whispered "oh, oh, oh, you're a dickhead
You think you can buy a person like beans or whole wheat bread
And I don't respect your life at all"




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